Today’s card is the 4 of coins. It is a card of good fortune, but it can imply that it comes at a cost. I can see that around both of my parents right now. For my dad, the good fortune, financially, has come at the cost of a strained relationship with his son. It is getting rebuilt, especially in the light of recent revelations from my mother. She’s getting the good fortune, recently, of surviving well from losing her job and finding herself in better financial positions as we shoulder more of the load. She’s also looking at gaining more money from her mother’s estate if the house sells. However, the cost of this is coming from the breaking relationship with me and she’s losing contact with her sisters because of all this. She’s going to end up a very lonely old woman soon.

I might be able to build more good fortune, but I believe in doing it by measured steps so Ellen and I don’t fall apart and we preserve what we’ve built. It was really nice, and very tempting, this morning to stay in bed with Ellen after I dressed and she pulled me back close. It was nice to be snuggled in. I had several thoughts of just staying put. I came to work anyway, so I guess I ‘m a good boy for that.

Planning on playing pool this evening when it’s time to drop Ricky off for a visit with his “mother”. We’ve invited dad to come along with us, but one never knows about these things. It will be the first time I will have any alcohol since Brian got me good and hammered. It’s a good thing that I am very cognizant of my personal state. It keeps me out of trouble.